How to Keep Children Safe Online

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If you visit a lot of websites or blogs on this subject, you will notice that the writers will give you a whole load of scary facts and statistics but do very little when it comes to actually telling you what you can do to keep your child safe online. This is the reason I have decided to go ahead and write this article in order to help you keep your children safe from online predators, cyberbullying, and finding hurtful content.

I see it often when a parent just allows their child to use technology in order to keep them occupied without ever having a clue of exactly what that child is doing. You can’t just give them a phone or laptop without first educating them about it and the dangers of online life. Also, you need to be checking their activity in order to make sure that they are following your rules about using technology.

Using this guide, you will be better prepared to set clear boundaries for their technology use but will also give you, as a parent, the tools that you need to support your children when they need you.

Smartphones and Apps

Children today are receiving their own mobile phones way sooner than they used to, and according to research, the average age for a child now is around 8 years old but getting younger by the year. This is pretty alarming, because a child that age is immediately opened up to the cruel world of cyberspace, and that can and has ruined lives in the past.

Of course, giving a child a smartphone has its benefits, such as being able to stay in contact when needed, but they are also let into what can lead to online harassment, malware attacks, theft, and seeing violent or sexual content. If you are planning on giving your child a smartphone, you must put some clear rules in place first, such as:

1. If you are made to feel uncomfortable online, tell a parent.
2. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t send it.
3. Always ask before downloading a new app.
4. Never post your phone number or address online, and never give it to strangers.
5. Never answer a call or text from an unknown number.

There are quite a few things that you can do in order to make your child’s smartphone safer to use. These include:

• Parental controls: you need to learn how to use the parental controls of the individual phone. These controls will allow you to limit the amount of time that your child uses the phone, see their location, and monitor calls.
• Be an example: a child will do what it sees its parents do, so you must set a good example. This means that you shouldn’t bring your phone to the dinner table and never text and drive.
• Separate charging area: designate an area of the home as a charging station for all smartphones in the house. Phones should stay out of your child’s bedroom so they can’t be used late at night.
• FamiKit: Famikit is an app that alerts parents and children about harmful, abusive, or suspicious text messages and content on the child’s phone.

Streaming Services

There are more and more streaming services popping up all the time, and a lot that are safe for children, such as Disney+, but sadly, many services that are not safe for children too.

The big problem with these streaming services is that children want to watch what others are talking about, especially when it comes from their friends, no matter how violent, sexual, or disturbing they could be.

Don’t get me wrong, many popular streaming services, such as Netflix, have parental controls, though not all are as robust as others. These parental controls should always be used to ensure that your children only have access to age-appropriate content.

This being said, never fully rely on these parental controls. What you need to be doing is having frequent conversations with your child about what videos they have been watching. They need to understand that just because they keep hearing about a certain show, it doesn’t mean it’s right for them.

Online Gaming

Most children nowadays play video games of some sort from a very early age. This is great if the games are educational, but the problem now is that there are so many video games featuring violent or sexual content.

Another bad side of gaming when it comes to children is that most popular games are multiplayer and have built-in chat systems, which can easily open them up to abuse, harassment, and sexual advances from other players. Children may also form relationships with other players and may end up giving away their personal information.

You need to:

1. Know what games they are playing.
2. Set their profile to private and choose a fun name rather than their real name.
3. Understand what the suggested age range of the game is.
4. Monitor their interactions with other players when online.
5. Adjust parental controls and privacy settings as needed.

I suggest not allowing the gaming console to be in their bedroom but rather in a shared space within the home.

Social Media

Almost every child nowadays is using some form of social media on a regular basis. Sadly, social media is also one of the most dangerous places for a child to be spending their time when it is used incorrectly.

The problem with social media platforms is that in most cases, in order to register, you must be 13 years of age and over. There are no checks at this point, and all children do is change their year of birth, verify their email, and they are now a member. That is a clear sign of an unsafe place to be, for starters.

Social media can be very addictive, especially for children who are using it as a way to communicate with their friends and develop a social identity. It is also the most used platform that creates cyberbullying, inappropriate sharing of photos, and advances from sexual predators. If you wish for your children to remain safe online, you must first understand how it works, along with the effects. It all comes down to setting boundaries, such as:

1. Privacy and sharing: sit your child down and talk to them about the value of privacy and making their own choices. Just because somebody tells them to send a photo doesn’t mean that they have to, and they should never reply to a message from someone they don’t know.
2. Thinking and posting: whether it is done through anger, being upset, or something else, they must always think hard before they post something. Sure, social media posts can be deleted, but once they have been posted, it is too late, as you can never delete them for good.
3. Location access: location services that are built into a phone are another one of those features that have good and bad points. For a child’s phone, however, this should always be switched off on all social media apps.
4. Check the settings: the settings are different for every social media platform, but for whichever platform your child is using, you must take the time to sit down and go through the settings in order to make their account as private as possible. I also recommend checking them periodically to ensure that your child has not changed them.

Cyberbullying

When I was a child, if somebody was to be bullied, it would happen at school, but now that technology has become so readily available, the children don’t just get bullied in school but also online. There is no longer an escape from it for a child, and this is the saddest part because it will be constant, and those bullies will rally who they can to do the same. It is this kind of stupidity that has led to many children taking their own lives because they have no escape.

Cyberbullying comes in many forms, but the most used forms are:

• Spreading rumours and sending threatening messages via social media.
• Creating a fake profile of another child and posting embarrassing material under their name.
• Forwarding private photos without consent.
• Posting online about another child with the intent to humiliate them.

When it comes to cyberbullying, or bullying in general, it can be hard to tell if your child is being bullied. It is even harder when they are bullied online because it happens digitally, so it is less likely to be overheard or seen happening.

It is estimated that nearly half of children using social media have faced cyberbullying or harassment, usually down to personal appearance, but even worse, only 1 in 10 are willing to confide in a parent or other trusted adult.

The best way to prevent cyberbullying and protect kids online is to be aware of your child’s behaviour. Some behaviours to be looking for are:

• Suddenly closing a social media account and setting up a new one.
• Starting to avoid social situations, even if they enjoyed being social in the past.
• Hiding the screen or phone when you walk into the room.
• Becoming cagey about what they are doing online or who they are talking to.
• Starting to become emotionally distressed or withdrawn.

If you believe or find out that your child is being bullied online, it is important that you:

• Take screenshots and recordings of all messages sent to your child from the perpetrator. This acts as evidence and will be essential for stopping it.
• Let the school know what has been happening and report the messages to the social media platform. If there have been threats of violence, contact the police too and show them the screenshots.

Online Privacy

We must always remember that children are much more trusting and inexperienced than adults, which can lead to a whole host of issues such as malware and viruses, scams, and identity theft.

To a child, giving their name and address doesn’t seem like a big deal; they just don’t understand the dangers around that, but they can also be easily tricked into giving personal details about their parents, such as banking or credit card details.

Online thieves are always changing the way they work, and with the amount of online games and websites, they will use that to their advantage. They may get the child to download an app or supposed update that contains viruses and scrapes data. They are pathetic, but that is the way that they work.

It is important that you talk to your child about online privacy. You need to:

• Talk about the threats: to me, if they are old enough to have a phone, they are old enough to know the dangers. They see worse things on the news you watch every day, so don’t be worried about scaring them. Make sure they know what a phishing attack and malicious websites look like, so they know not to fall for these scams.
• Make sure they never give their details: they need to keep every single piece of their personal information private. This includes their name, address, phone number, and even the school that they attend.
• Talk about passwords: get your child to understand the importance of a strong password. I’ve personally seen adults make some stupidly easy passwords for a hacker to get, and many children will use their best friend’s name along with a year as a password, which is wrong. Having a strong password is the first and best measure to prevent hacking and identity theft.
• Talk to them about identity theft: Make it clear that once a cybercriminal has their data, they can do things in their name and even hurt people, and it will be extremely hard to stop.

There are, however, some steps that you, as a parent, can take to help create a safer environment for your child. This includes:

• Antivirus: this should be common sense, but many people no longer do what is the easiest first step to online privacy and information security. A good antivirus needs to be installed on the home computer as well as the devices of all members of the family.
• VPN: a VPN is a virtual private network that, once installed on your home devices, encrypts your connection and anonymizes your web browsing. This is important to stop hackers from accessing and stealing any private information.
• Ad Blocker: most websites don’t really have any control over the ads that are displayed on their websites unless they sell ad space. Most of the ads you will see come from places like Google and can often contain deceptive advertising that encourages them to download malicious programmes or apps. An ad blocker will remove all ads from a website.

Inappropriate Content Viewing

This is a tricky one because inappropriate content is literally everywhere online, from ads to videos on social media. Anybody can post what they want online, which means that anybody can view it no matter their age.

For an adult, if we see something that we know to be wrong, we simply come off it or close the video or advertisement. A child rarely does that, but it can be very upsetting, confusing, and distressing for them.

Inappropriate content can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but it mainly boils down to:

1. Swearing
2. Violence
3. Pornography, or
4. Political/religious ideas that are not true to family views.

It is never going to be an easy conversation,  but parents need to sit their child down and talk about what they might come across online. Most children won’t ever tell you that they have seen such content through fear of being reprimanded, but you need to let them know that it isn’t their fault if an ad pops up showing inappropriate content.

You cannot punish your child for an ad or video that came up on their screens. If you do, they will find it very hard to come to you when they really need you. Instead, stay calm and supportive and let them talk about what they have seen before you explain why it is wrong.

Remember:

• Talk honestly and frankly about sex: this won’t be easy for any parent, but talking about online pornography is a crucial part. The big problem is that children will see pornography and think that sex happens that way, and when they grow up and find it not to be so, they will feel inadequate and bad about themselves. You need to talk to them and direct your kids to positive resources about sexuality. We live in a world where sex is everywhere, from the internet to movies and music. There is no escape, so your children must know what is right and what is wrong.
• Let them know it’s OK to talk: your children need to know that they can always come to you if something is bothering them or if they have questions about anything they have seen online.

There are, luckily, some steps that you can take, as a parent, to block inappropriate content on your child’s device, such as:

• Filters: almost all internet service providers provide free parental controls, as do most gaming consoles. They are easy to set up, so please do use them.
• Google: before giving your child a smartphone, make sure to set the Google app to “safe mode” so that your children won’t inadvertently see inappropriate content in search results.
• Ad blocker: install an ad blocker to prevent viruses that might have inappropriate content.
• Streaming: make sure your streaming services have active child protection profiles.

Online Predators

By far, the most alarming and dangerous threat is the child predator. Statistics show that 1 in 5 children faces unwanted sexual solicitation online each year, and 1 in 33 encounters aggressive sexual solicitation. These predators are always searching the Internet on their hunt to find vulnerable children who they can prey on.

This doesn’t stop at just messages; these predators will go from messaging a victim to manipulating those children into sexual activities through webcams or by exchanging explicit images and may even seek to physically abuse them.

The internet has made life a hell of a lot easier for child predators. They target their victims through any and all online mediums. They often masquerade as peers to trick children into engaging with them, meticulously combing through social media profiles to gather personal information.

The biggest problem is that many children hide these interactions, which makes it very difficult for a parent to know that it is going on. There are many reasons as to why children hide this, but one of the biggest is down to fear or threats from the predator. Some signs to be on the lookout for include increased secrecy, sudden mood changes, withdrawal, and distraction.

It is important that you establish a relationship with your child in which they feel safe to talk to you about anything that is going on, including what has made them feel scared or uncomfortable. If for any reason you feel that your child is at risk, seek support from their school, a social worker, and the police.

Final Thoughts

There are a lot of tools and resources out there that can help to keep your children safe online, but it is not as easy as just using one tool. You need to use a combination of tools.

The most important thing that you can do is to have open and honest conversations with your children about their lives and what is going on. The very best person to keep your child safe online is you.